Pearl Hardaway Reese
1917-2013

My mother passed away on Monday at the age of 96. Although out of college she worked as a fashion illustrator and shoe designer, and for some years as a young widow she worked in the business world, it was in her life that she was a true leader.

So in what way was Pearl a leader?  A leader makes a difference in people’s lives, acts as a role model, is ready to look outside themselves and their immediate world to have a wider vision, is willing and able to support the growth of others, continues  to learn and grow themselves, challenges traditional ways of doing things, and is able to be resilient in the face of risk and challenges.  That was my mom!

My mother loved life.  She maintained her passion for living even when her vision, her hearing, her sense of touch and smell was failing.  She was a talented artist, and found ways of doing her art in spite of her challenges, having a successful solo exhibition just last year of paintings from the previous two years.

She was resilient, surviving extremely difficult family events – the death of her young father in the flu epidemic, the sudden death of my father when she was a young mother with three children, the sudden death of my much younger stepfather when she was in the hospital herself four years ago.  She found ways to survive all of this and reinvent herself, thriving in a world that was constantly changing, even embracing the computer for email, internet, and digital artwork in the last decade.   When she finally decided a year ago to leave the home where she lived alone, she intentionally transitioned into assisted living with grace and generosity.

Looking Both Ways – 2012

She was spiritually curious and explored many faiths, while continuing active membership in her local church.  She was artistically experimental, studying and trying new styles from Picasso to Warhol.  She was open to new ideas of healing, and went on to become a Reiki teacher and host Reiki groups for the last ten years.   She said she wasn’t a good teacher because she skipped too many steps, (which was true) but it was in how she supported others that she truly taught us how to live.

Heifitz and Linsky in their book Leadership on the Line said “To lead is to live dangerously because when leadership counts, when you lead people through difficult change, you challenge what people hold dear – their daily habits, tools, loyalties, and ways of thinking – with nothing more to offer perhaps than a possibility. “

Pearl decided she needed help and sought out Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago.  Through over three decades she’s been a role model of struggling and succeeding in difficult change, open about her problems.  She welcomed others to the journey and accepted people where they were, despite or perhaps because of their failings.  She continued in AA as a way of life, and found purpose and meaning in how she could help others on their journey.

Even in her last years when going to meetings was difficult, friends would drive her because they valued her wisdom.  When my dear stepfather died four years ago, she joined a bereavement group, and again continued attending long after she herself needed support because she valued what she could offer to others.

Boss Lady – 2011

Heifitz and Linsky go on to say, “by making the lives of people around you better, leadership provides meaning in life.  It creates purpose.  We believe that every human being has something unique to offer, and that a larger sense of purpose comes from using that gift to help your organizations, families, or communities thrive.  The gift might be your knowledge, your experience, your values, your presence, your heart, or your wisdom.  Perhaps it’s simply your basic curiosity and your willingness to raise unsettling questions.”

My mom was intensely curious.  She asked questions about my work and put the concepts to use herself.  She was also incredibly blunt, and sometimes unsettling in the way she made you face your problems, but (at least as I got older) you trusted her intent.

I’ll close with a letter written to her by an AA friend some 22 years ago, when she left her home of many years to move to Cape Cod and start a new adventure.  I found it in a book filled with messages of thanks from others and read it to her the day before she died. In many ways it was my own good-bye.

Sunshiny – 2011

“Today is probably the last time we will sit together at a meeting.  I can’t tell you how I will miss you.  You have been a light-center for me, and an image of the loving heart.  You said we were “sisters of the heart” one day.  I hope I can eventually be worthy of that relationship by giving as much to other people as you have.  I love you and I wish you peace, joy, beauty, and closeness to God, now and forever after in eternity.”

Extroverts are kings of the jungle

The United States is one of the world’s most extrovert culture, and business is a place where it is particularly prized.  Do we lose something from that?  What if you’re an introvert in an organization where the extrovert behaviors are the benchmark?

Some say that the single most important aspect of personality is where you sit on the spectrum of introversion/extroversion.  It influences career and spouse choices, how we communicate, make decisions, resolve conflict and show love.  It influences what kind of leader we become.

Both ways of thinking and acting are necessary in the world and in any organization.  “A species in which everyone was General Patton would not succeed, any more than would a race in which everyone was Vincent Van Gogh,” says American educator, and musician Allen Shawn.

As Leaders:  Studies on leaders and books like Good to Great have found that the charismatic, gregarious extroverted leader may not be the most successful.  Extrovert CEO’s had bigger salaries but not better corporate performance.  But those characteristics still get rated higher.  At Harvard Business School, the behaviors of extroverts are a component of the grade.  Why?

Working in crowds

Extrovert Ideal:  Susan Cain explains what she calls our value system of the Extrovert Ideal in her bestselling book Quiet  – “The omnipresent believe is that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.  The archetypal extrovert prefers action to comtemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt.  He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong.  She works well in teams and socializes in groups.” I worked with an extrovert who loved huge events with lots of people and favored conflict in meetings because he preferred the speed and energy of the conversations.

Characteristics of Introverts:  Introverts tend to be more thoughtful, and work more slowly and intentionally. They find it easier to concentrate and focus and be less likely to multi-task.  But they are NOT hermits.  Introverts can have strong social skills, be great listeners, and clear speakers.  Introverts tend to find presentations challenging and conflict difficult.  They often dislike small talk but enjoy deep conversations, and may prefer to express themselves in writing.

They are not necessarily shy, either, which is an indicator of discomfort.  A shy person in a meeting may find it exceedingly uncomfortable to speak up; an introvert may just need time to listen and formulate their thoughts before speaking up.  The result of a smaller presence in the meeting may be the same, but it’s for entirely different reasons.

We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts, yet studies show that one third to one half of Americans are introverts.  It may be easy to see how introverted scientists or artists might change the world – think of Einstein and his theory of relativity or Chopin’s nocturnes.  Are there introverts that have changed the world by taking a public leadership role?  Yes!  How about Rosa Parks or Eleanor Roosevelt or Gandhi whose influence came not in spite of but because of their introvert characteristics?

What’s lost when extroverts rule?  New research has shown some indication that extroverted leaders may end up with more passive employees.  Introverted leaders tend to encourage more initiative taking, so important in today’s constantly changing world.

Extroverts can take over meetings, even if not the leaders.  The extroverts keep raising their hands, or offering up their opinions quickly, leaving no time or space for the more thoughtful introverts to think and share their ideas.  You lose out on the perspective and contributions of the introverts.  Organizations need to develop both listeners and speakers, not just one or the other.

So what do we do? 

If you’re an extrovert, slow yourself down. Try waiting until all others have commented before you speak again.  Ask questions of the introverts in your meeting that will help draw them out, and wait for their answer without interrupting.   An organization offering online opportunities for interaction and new ideas may also increase the contributions of introverts.

If you’re an introvert, it’s hard to see your own value when you’re in an extrovert culture, but powerful when you do.  First of all, don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. Recognize the difference and see value in your personality style and what you contribute that’s missing otherwise.  When required to perform in situations that are challenging, know what works for you.  For meetings and presentations, it’s crucial to PREPARE!  For large social engagements it may help to think about making the other person more comfortable than worrying about how comfortable you are, and step away from the action from time to time to be alone and recharge.  In your work week, watch your schedule and protect the time you need for thinking and for solitude.

Intimate gatherings preferred

I’m right on the line between extrovert and introvert.  I’m comfortable presenting, speaking up in meetings and being with people.  I prefer intimate gatherings to large parties, but am very happy to just stay home.  I am good at networking and “working a room” yet I sometimes dread it, and tire of it quickly.  I find the energy of high extroverts exhausting.  Extreme introverts find my energy exhausting, which I’m trying to become more aware of.  Above all, I need my down time, my quiet time, my thinking time.

What are you?  What do you need to be more aware of?  What culture do you work in?  What can you do differently?

Credits:  Above photos taken by my husband, Larry Peterson, on our trip to South Africa.

Eye exam with no eye contact

How do you change the culture of an organization if it isn’t working?  I’ve thought about what I’d do if I took over the large ophthalmic practice where I suffered through an unpleasant experience this week.

What is culture?:  John Kotter wrote in a Forbes Magazine blog on September 27^th that organizational culture is often misunderstood, both what it is and how it works.  He defines it as “group norms of behavior and the underlying shared values that help keep those norms in place.”  It doesn’t matter what you say your values are.  What really matters is how they are acted upon, whether at work or at home.

Some places and people have espoused values that are largely ignored.  So a statement of values or a restatement of values isn’t a “fix” for culture.

Values versus behavior:  I’ve seen a company have a value that states employees respect one another but people are always showing up late to meetings.  Or another that has a stated value of transparency, and yet most of the rationale behind decisions goes unstated. There’s a healthcare organization that focused on wellness but only for patients, not for staff.  What are the real values at these organizations?

Bad service:  So lets get back to this large practice I visited.  My complaint was that the customer wasn’t important to them.   How was that demonstrated?  Upon entering for the first time, I faced a long counter with three people seated behind it and two others standing behind them and no one acknowledged me.  Apparently a conversation about their clothing was more important.

At the next station, the technician didn’t introduce herself or greet me.  She asked me to sit and hold my belongings in my lap while she did a test which she did not explain, then asked me to follow her to another room where more tests followed.  Intent on recording everything in her computer, she asked me a series of questions without ever making eye contact.  Once complete, she sent me to a hallway of chairs to wait, where I sat for almost one hour, listening to others complaining about the wait.

Finally I was called by another technician who again didn’t introduce herself but just pointed into a room and told me to take a seat.  The technician then sat down alongside a woman in a white coat who did not look up, or introduce herself.  Both women had their backs to me and the one in the white coat proceded to ask me questions until I stopped her and asked who she was. At that point she said her name, with the explanation that “most people here know me.”  Upon completion, I was handed a piece of paper and told to take a left and a right and check out at the counter.

So what is the value that drives this unpleasant culture?  If I were being generous, I might say the value is on technical excellence.  They have a lot of whiz bang equipment and the technicians and the doctor obviously focused on their examination procedures.  Feeling less generous, I might guess that they value their own time and attention more than their customers.

Fixing culture: It won’t change unless someone at the top, or some influential large group of employees notices it’s not working, and apparently it’s working for them.  However, when I mentioned where I had been to several colleagues in the community, they commented “that place is known for not being user friendly.”  Perhaps at some point, their culture will impact their bottom line.  But if I took over, I’d shift to a value of customer service driven technical excellence right away.

Great customer connections

I’d have every step of the office process examined to see how it touches the customer.  I’d ask that the processes be redesigned to serve the customer first, not just the staff.  I’d have employees focus on making a personal connection with the customer, by making real eye contact, instead of just looking at my eyes.

I’d put the values on every form and in every office and I’d install customer feedback loops – a post-visit survey or forms in the waiting room so I’d receive updates on whether the culture was truly changing.  I’d create a statement of values that I’d show to all prospective employees and ask them to sign a commitment to those values.   Etc. etc.

So how does this apply to you?  Whether you work for yourself or run a large organization, start to examine what your values are based on what your actions are.  Are you truly in alignment and consistent?  Take the time to do this even in your home.  If I say I value balance and down time but then I don’t follow up, what really is my value?

My Listening 2 Leader values are trust, generosity, transparency, and results.  You can be sure I’m going to be exploring my own processes and actions.

Here’s what it looks like but don’t underestimate it!

Business Model Canvas

You can download it for free at businessmodelgeneration.com, along with enough of the supporting book to get you started.  I saw it in action when I was serving as a coach at a recent Start-Up Weekend, sponsored by the Cape Cod Chamber, where people are encouraged to create new businesses in just 54 hours.  Copies of the Business Model Canvas were provided to each group, many of whom had just met each other that weekend, and it was amazing what they accomplished.

The Canvas itself is just a one page graphic tool to explore and test assumptions, covering the four main areas of a business:  customers, offer, infrastructure and financial viability.  There are actually nine blocks to complete:  Key activities, Key Partners, Key Resources, and Cost structure are on the left and make up the efficiency side of the model.  The right side blocks make up value and are Customer relationships, Customer segments, Value propositions, Channels, and Revenue streams.

Watch the two minute video below for a clearer idea.  You’re encouraged to play with sticky notes so that nothing becomes set in stone too early.  It is meant to be an iterative process that allows you to work as an individual or team and explore different options in a simple but complete format.

The companion book, Business Model Generation, was created by 470 practitioners from around the world.  There is a downloadable excerpt on the website that has plenty to help you understand each block or category and some interesting examples of how the tool can be widely used beyond the creation of a new business:

The public sector is often challenged to implement private sector principles. I have used the Canvas to help a department view itself as a service- oriented business, establishing externalized as-is and to-be business models. It has created a whole new conversa- tion around describing and innovating the business. Mike Lachapelle, Canada

I wish I had known the Canvas years ago! With a particular tough and complicated print-to-digital project within the publishing industry it would have been so helpful to show all project members in this visual way both the big picture, their (important) own roles in it and the inter-dependencies. Hours of explaining, arguing, and mis- understanding could have been saved. Jille Sol, Netherlands

A close friend was looking for a new job. I used the Business Model Canvas in order to assess her personal business model. Her core competences and Value Proposition were outstanding but she failed to leverage her strategic partners and develop appropriate Customer Relationships. This adjusted focus opened new opportunities. Daniel Pandza, Mexico

I help business owners plan their transition and exit from their companies. Success depends on sustaining long- term company viability and growth. Key to this is a business model innovation program. The Canvas helps us identify and innovate their business models. Nicholas K. Niemann, U.S.

 So go download it.  Watch this video.  Good luck with your big picture thinking!

Because we can’t possible take in everything around us all the time, we develop selective filters.  Those filters start to become habit.  Think about how you don’t notice the background noise of your refrigerator until it stops during a power outage.  We shut out what our brains decide is irrelevant.  We do the same with our business as we get focused on producing results.

Watch the following video to see what I mean:

We develop selective vision as we focus and may miss out on important cues.  I think this is partly why businesses miss signs of changes in their environment and hold their course too long, then find themselves out of touch with their market.

So take time to soften your eyes and just see what there is to see.  Scan the “background” of your business.  See what’s going on outside of your day to day work.  Do things like look at what’s happening in completely different industries.  Find someone from a different generation – older or younger.  Look inward into your company and imagine seeing it from someone else’s point of view.   This is particularly important in the early stages of problem solving, and in strategic planning.

Don’t look for anything in particular, because then your attention starts to select and some data is in and some data is out – just like in the video.   Just stay open to what might be there.

Hidden Traps

Why Eliminate To Be:  The theory is that our language and our words form our abstract concepts, and they contain hidden traps.   The verb “to be,” was identified as containing the most traps, and creating distortions of reality.  If I say my employee is lazy, it implies certainty and objectivity, but it’s really just my opinion.

I read the concept in a slightly useful and somewhat funny book called Help! by Oliver Burkeman a curmudgeonly Brit.  The idea came from Alfred Korzybski who founded the philosophy of General Semantics made famous by his slogan, “The map is not the territory.”  He said we’d do well to avoid absolute terms.

He suggested that we can never find absolute “truth” and would be better off not using words that implied certainty.   In the 1960’s David Bourland took up the cause and suggested we entirely eliminate “to be” from our language, and offered up a term for the new structure, called E-Prime.  Though it didn’t catch on, I found it a wonderful way to approach problem solving.

Fact or Possibility:  Certainty brings with it emotional and behavioral consequences.  If I say ‘I am a failure,’ it feels permanent and I feel hopeless.  Restating it as ‘I have failed at this task,’ suddenly makes it temporary, situational, and something I can address.   The same with my problem.  Is it absolute or might it be something else?

Let’s apply the idea to my (fictional) lazy employee.  In identifying the problem, I might restate it as ‘my employee appears lazy.’   How does that change anything, you ask?

Trap of Assumptions:  Assumptions get in the way of problem solving and the verb to be turns assumptions into reality, fixing them in my mind as fact.  I no longer question them.  Suddenly, I find myself solving a problem that I may have mis-identified.

If I say my employee is lazy and come to believe it, I may fire him.  However, if I say he appears lazy or acts as if a lazy person might act, I have not yet identified the problem.

Perfectionist? Slow? Lazy?

Uses of New Wording:  In my restatement without the verb “to be” I’m not making a factual assumption.  I can look at the situation from a wider perspective.  What are the behaviors I’m actually seeing?

Perhaps what I’m seeing is someone who doesn’t take initiative.  Then I could ask myself if I’ve been micromanaging and causing the problem.

Maybe my employee works slowly.  I could examine whether they don’t understand the work and need more training.  Or perhaps they prize accuracy because they’ve been criticized for error.   You get the idea.

Try it yourself.  Reword statements you make about yourself.  Reword problems you’re having with staff, or with customers.  Reword challenges your team faces.

In fact, try running a meeting on a contentious issue where you require everyone to eliminate the verb “to be” from their statements.

Maybe we should suggest that of our government officials.

I spoke on this topic several days ago at the American Business Women’s Association(thanks for the invitation, ladies).  We started the meeting in the dark, a 20 minute reminder of the power failures most of us suffered from the blizzard. But with optimism and courage, and a glass of wine we carried on.

So why optimism?  Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and other books on the subject, did research for Met Life to determine what characteristic would most predict success in new sales agents.  It wasn’t experience or intelligence.  It was their level of optimism.

We need to be able to see our potential and believe that what we do matters!  When we see ourselves and the situation with optimism, it changes the synapses in our brains.  It takes practice to do this because often self-talk is critical.

Take the judgment out of looking at yourself.  Just for a moment, think of a behavioral characteristic you don’t like in yourself.  Let’s say you think of yourself as a procrastinator.  Now think how that characteristic has served you.   Procrastination can be a way of being spontaneous, of thinking on the fly, of working under pressure  – valuable behaviors that I’m sure have served you well, albeit not always.  Still, appreciate  that in yourself.  On the flip side, you can look at something you pride yourself in  – such as being detail oriented.  Certainly that serves you well and you should appreciate it but also recognize it can get you in trouble when you go too far and forget to look at the big picture.

All those judgments get applied to others as well, and can also get you in trouble.   John Gottman did research on couples to determine what behaviors went into a good marriage.  He found that the best marriages had a 5 to 1 ratio of positive comments to negative comments and the best work relationships had a 3 to 1 ratio.  He also found that if contempt between the partners was present, that was a death knell.

So attend to how you see and relate to others.  Listen to your own self-talk.  How often do you have a 5 to 1 ratio of positive comments to negative comments going on in your own head???  While I’m not religious, I love this a quote by a 14^th century Persian poet named Hafiz who says “you know those who have found God when they have dropped the cruel knife they so often use upon their tender self and others.”    !

So put down your knife and become more optimistic.  How?  Start keeping track of what you’ve done each day that you’re pleased with.  Pay attention to your self-talk.  See your behaviors in terms of how they support you and how they become obstacles to success, rather than good or bad.

If you have optimism, it’s possible to have courage.  If you believe you can, you’ll find a way.  There is research on survivors of natural disasters and terrorism that show that those who believe in their ability to survive have a far greater chance of survival.

Courage isn’t about taking giant leaps – the ones that appear impossible.  It’s about a series of tiny steps.  I have Scandinavian clients who shared a saying that “you can eat a whole potato one bite at a time.”  Another metaphor I love is that you can drive all the way across the country seeing only as far as your headlights light the road in front of you.

So how do you get courage?  Just take one little step forward.  Then the next step. Notice little successes along the way – little ones add up to big ones.  Write them down daily!  Reward yourself.   Keep track of when little risks paid off.    Know that with risk comes failure and allow yourself to move on after failure.  Be willing to disappoint and be disappointed.  Allow others to risk and fail around you.

I read recently that research shows that regret occurs far more frequently about things we don’t do than things we do do.

Then there’s this TED talk on power poses that workby Amy Cuddy, a researcher at Harvard Business School.

Apparently, adopting the behavior of someone who appears to be confident and calm can lead to feelings of confidence and calm, including associated changes in brain chemistry.   If you have time, take a look.  Twenty minutes of watching this video and 3 minutes of putting it to use will increase your power and ease hormones.

Optimism and courage aren’t all you need to be an organizational leader.  Clearly there is a need for awareness, curiosity, and often a requirement of technical knowledge.

You don’t need a title, however.  You can lead from any seat in the house, in your work and in your life.

Optimism and courage are necessary when you define leadership as an act of looking out into the future, identifying what you think may be necessary, and having the willingness to step out alone into the unknown, perhaps galvanizing others to follow.

I needed both to create the companies I’ve founded and lead within larger organizations.  I need both now in my personal life more than ever as my husband and I face his diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease.  While not a death sentence, it certainly changes everything we thought we knew about our future, leaving it all unknown.   Not much is known about this progressive disease and when I scan the internet, it’s so easy to lose heart in the extraordinary range of scary symptoms.

On a daily basis, we rely on optimism and courage to believe that we can manage whatever comes our way and be willing to step forward into the unknown with a positive vision.  I’m lucky, as my husband has always been my role model for both!

Where’s your focus?

So there’s my mom lying on a bed in the ER having been brought in by ambulance for a long-standing chronic but dangerous condition.  When the ER physician came in he started telling her things about her condition rather than asking questions.  He even told her that what we were telling him about her experience prior to arrival must be wrong.  It was condescending and arrogant at worst, extremely inattentive and rushed at best.  He certainly didn’t take the time to focus on her.

There may be all kinds of mitigating reasons why he behaved as he did but all I could think about was how much better our experience would have been had he started by asking questions.  “What do you think is wrong?”  “What do you know about your condition?”  “What’s been your experience in the past?”

During her stay, a different doctor who had only seen her once the previous day for about 2 minutes, decided to take it upon herself to tell her about hospice care, without asking whether my mother wanted to hear about it at all, nevermind without family present.  My mom called me in tears.

The visiting nurse who came to her home once she was released was similarly focused on telling rather than asking.  I imagine her charge is to educate her patients about their condition to help them and also prevent re-admittance, but in her zeal to educate she totally ignored what my mother and I already knew and had experienced many times.  She just never asked about what our experience had already been.

In a completely opposite case, I was buying some electronics and the sales person used all kinds of jargon.  I couldn’t understand him and he couldn’t help me.   Then he got irritated with me.  Needless to say, I didn’t buy the equipment at that location.

In these cases, what seemed to be missing was meeting us where we were at.  You’re so familiar with what you do, or what you sell, and perhaps very comfortable in the routine through which you offer the service, that you make gross assumptions about the other person.

Sometimes it’s not about assumptions, it’s just lack of attention.  Pay attention to the person in front of you, their agenda not your agenda.  Don’t be distracted by what’s happening in another room, or what’s on your to-do list.

So today, think about how you deliver service, whether to your patient, to your customer, or to the other people in your company.  Try to put yourself in their shoes.  Watch their faces.  See if you’re connecting, if you’re delivering great service.

I have a goal I’ve set for myself this year, but I don’t have hours to devote to it.  If I set out to take big steps, I’d quit right away. So my plan is once a day to do something.  It’s manageable to commit myself to just one little action every day, whether a phone call, a piece of research, or just a few minutes to think.  Although each act may not be much, the accumulation will build momentum.

Here’s a metaphor that better expresses this idea:

Deep space, one piece of paper at a time

“Not long ago, I heard on the radio a description of a new form of propulsion for a probe that had just been launched into deep space.  The spacecraft was powered by a newly developed ion motor, where sub-atomic particles were propelled out the back of the probe and provided its acceleration.  The scientist describing the new motor said that the amazing thing about the motor was that although the electrons were pushed out the back of the probe at an incredible speed, the electrons were so small that the acceleration on the craft was actually only the equivalent of the weight of a piece of paper.  But because that slight weight acted every moment and it occurred in a basically friction-free environment, the craft could reach speeds of hundreds of thousands of miles per hour.

It is a profound metaphor for a poet, of course:  just the weight of a piece of paper, a blank piece of paper, every moment, or even to begin with just once a day, every day.  But it is a metaphor for any work and any person.  A steadily building field of activity, laid down almost imperceptibly, layer upon layer, which creates a world and at the same time prepares us for our appearance in that world.”

David Whyte , Crossing the Unknown Sea; Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity

It doesn’t even have to be every day to matter.  Maybe you have a quick idea, a seemingly inconsequential idea.  Try it anyway.  It might make a bigger difference than you think.  If you doubt, watch this video of a young man’s simple idea called Making a City Smile I found on Daniel Pink’s website.  My son stopped by the other day in a prickly mood.  I told him to watch the video and it made him smile.  I hope it makes you smile, too, and gets you to take one little act that starts to take you far.

1.  Clarify your goals.  Be extremely specific about what you’d like to achieve, what success will look like for you, what are the behaviors and results you’d like to see.  Let’s take the example of sales.  Define how many phone calls, or appointments per week you’ll complete, and know exactly how many prospects you’d like to turn into clients.  Make your goal tangibly real for yourself.

My cockeyedl golf set up. Who knew?

2.  Identify exactly what you do now.  Detemine what’s working for you, and what’s not.  In sales, it’s easier to quantify.  If your goal is to become a better leader, you could poll your team to see what they think works well about your leadership and what you do that gets in their way.   If your goal is using time effectively, examine how you currently plan your time, how do you track it, and when do you waste it.

3.  Look for key roadblocks and key actions.  Goals tend to repeat themselves – we start out gung ho until things get in the way, then a year later we commit to the same goal (with a little less hope).  So figure out what’s the toughest piece of the challenge.   Maybe my biggest leadership challenge is holding people accountable when I like them.  If I want to lose weight, I discover that I have the least resistance and eat chocolate between 7 and 9 pm, when I’m really tired (totally true for me!)
4.  Develop a focused strategy. You need an overall strategy of specific actions that you’ll take to meet your goal, daily and weekly that includes tactics that focus on those key roadblocks!  Sometimes that one focus can be all you need.  I’ve found salespeople who are afraid of rejection and have trouble making follow up  calls so they use email instead. Working on a variety of scripts for worst case scenarios helped them.

This felt so strange at first

5.  Practice.  New skills and new behaviors take practice.  Not just once in awhile but frequently when you’re just learning them! You might feel embarrassed or angry at yourself for failing at first.  Forget it.  Accept you’ll feel awkward until you’ve built up those new neural pathways in your brain.  Make sure you schedule your practice.
6.  Get support.  You’ll find the greatest success achieving your goal if you get help.  Think of AA, or Weight Watchers, or pro golfers with their swing coaches.  We don’t often know what we’re doing or not doing until it’s pointed out to us.  Get feedback.  (These embarrassing pictures are of me before and after a ten minute golf lesson.  I had no idea I was so off balance.) Be held accountable.  Celebrate success along the way with others.